University of Virginia Library

The Last Bow Wow

Late last fall we spoke in this column of an
alarming increase in the University's squirrel
population and the existing as well as
potential danger these pesky little creatures
pose to students, faculty and staff alike. In a
fit of callous self-interest, however, we rather
carelessly overlooked the t the wful
rodents pose to tourists and visitors to the
University as well.

We have since lived to regret that bit o
negligence on our part. Fathers, mothers and
their small children, we are told, have been
flocking to the emergency room of University
Hospital daily complaining of all sorts of
squirrel bites, scratches and other
miscellaneous squirrel diseases–University
squirrel diseases, we might add. If only we
had done more in our efforts to stomp out
this menace the resulting tragedies may never
have occurred.

Still, we do not believe it is our fault
alone. At least we awakened our readers to a
part of the problem and furthermore tried to
recommend a solution. The University, on the
other hand, who in the long run we were
trying to help (by saving them from unwanted
lawsuits, etc.), has done nothing. In fact, they
have taken a series of steps wholly in the
opposite direction. It is truly remarkable that
they are not only perpetuating these
horrendous acts of aggression but seem to be
encouraging them as well.

We suggested they curb the squirrels, and
what do they do but curb the dogs, the only
real weapon we now have against these daring
and cunning little pests. In line with the new
County regulations recently accepted by the
Board of Visitors a dog warden with the latest
in dog-catching paraphernalia will police the
Grounds night and day in order to make
certain all dogs are kept on leash. A dog
which is spotted running loose, unleashed,
unpenned or unharnessed will be impounded
by the warden and shipped off to the SPCA.

Since the squirrel problem has been so
badly mishandled by University officials we
are slightly hesitant to mention another such
acerbating problem which with the summer
humidity has been known to cause a
co-ordinate amount of pain and discomfort to
persons living around or frequenting this area.
We speak of the gnat problem. You know
those dreadful, little Arthropods that buzz to
and fro in swarms of zillions getting into your
ears and occasionally into your mouth. Well,
there seems to be no stopping them. In fact,
there are utterly so many of them that
poisonous sprays, silk screening or even face
masks can hardly keep them from setting in
one's nose.

Furthermore, there have been
absolutely no attempts in the past and none
are forecast for the future to eradicate this
plague of kamikaze gnats. Once again, we
bring the issue before the people. University
officials should act now before it is once again
too late. But, of course, we suppose the
University will just ignore this problem as
usual and let the gnats go unhindered. After
all, the irritating little buzzards do have a
tendency to keep the dogs indoors. And that's
what the University's really after anyway.