University of Virginia Library

'I Took My Troubles To Madame Ruth'

By ED KANIEWSKI

A large hand almost orders
you to stop: "Palm Reader and
Advisor," it says. The white
house is small and
unprepossessing, across the
road from the Self-Serve Gult
station in Toriston, Virginia.
You decide to stop. Soon you
will learn that your fate is in
your hands – quite literally.

Children's swings are in the
yard, and small chippe
statue of the Virgin Mary
smiles at Route 29 through a
cyclone fence. After you
knock on the door, a smile
beams out at you, and the
palm reader invites you in,
Walter Cronkite in living color
recites the news of the day in
the living room, but you go
into the kitchen to wait your
turn.

Soon your time comes. You
sit on the vinyl-covered couch
in the living room. You are
asked to make two wishes, to
tell her one and to keep the
other secret. This puts you to
the test: you suddenly must
decide what is important to
you. You tell her your wish is
for good health. She asks for
your hand. You offer your left,
but she wants your right.

Success

Now the reading begins and
proceeds rapidly. You are a
good person and will be
successful. On the 16th of the
month you will receive
important news. You will soon
hear from someone you have
wanted to hear from, but have
not heard from for a long time.
You will take two trips in the
future, a short one and a long
one for business purposes. (A
roll to Longwood perhaps?)

You are expecting money,
aren't you? You will receive
money soon. (Is it a tax refund
or that long expected New
Jersey Lottery win, you
wonder.) Your health is not all
you wish it to be. You wear a
smile on your face, but not on
your heart.

You will be married, not
soon, but in two or three years.
You will be the father of three
children. (But the palm does
not show their sex.) As for
your present love life, you are
in love with a girl. (Very true.
Your friends say you wilt when
she walks by.) There is another
man (Yes.) And you are
worried about it. (Yes, indeed!
The Fair One persists in
ignoring you.) Your friends are
trying to convince you to
forget her. (And have been
trying for several months, you
suddenly recall.) But she loves
you. (You are pleased to hear
this, and decide to persist in
your hopeless romance.)

You have big problems, but
they can be solved if she lights
blessing candles for you. Each
one signifies something health
success, love, happiness. Your
se requires nine. (When you
ask her how many she usually
prescribes, she says two or
three. The most she has ever
given is ten. You feel like you
have registered 9.0 on the
Richter scale.) Such is a typical
palm reading with Madam
Ruth.

A Gift

After the session, I
discussed palm reading with
her. She has been reading
palms since she was a young
girl. She was not taught the art,
and does not believe it can be
taught. It was a gift she
received from her mother, who
received it from hers, and
which she expects to pass on to
her daughter. She is reluctant
to explain exactly how the art
works, and says palm readers
will not even share techniques
with other readers.

I asked her about other
forms of fortunetelling. Madam
Ruth does not believe in the
Tarot; anyone can be taught
how to use the cards. She also
disapproves of crystal ball
gazing and does not believe it
works.

As to her own predictions,
what if she sees disaster in a
person's palm? She is unwilling
to tell anyone of it, because it
will upset them.

I was somewhat surprised to
learn that palm readers had to
pay an annual license tax to
the state and the county for
the privilege of doing business.
Madam Ruth complained that
her palm reading fee would be
lower, if it were not for the
high tax. Indeed, a cursory