University of Virginia Library

Runk Bunks Bulb Battle

"Phooey" was Dean B.F.D.
Runk's reaction yesterday upon
being told of the invention of the
electric light.

Muttering complaints about
"long-haired weirdo New Jersey
inventors," the Dean told The
Cavalier Daily that he really
didn't think the light bulb, reportedly
widespread on other
campuses, would ever catch on
at Virginia.

Not Academic

Mr. Runk said he had not
changed his mind one bit since
last fall when he sent out a letter
to all students warning about the
harmful effects of such innovations
which are not compatible
with serious academic pursuits.
He had warned in the same letter
about the even greater danger
from the internal combustion
engine which students at Berkeley
are reported to be experimenting
with.

Light But No Heat

He estimated that only 5 per
cent of University students had
ever sought such illumination,
despite an interview in this paper
last fall in which one "Jim" had
claimed he had made $3,000
peddling light bulbs to students.

The dean added that any student
caught using the bulbs "may
be given the opportunity to withdraw
from the University."

Big Switch

There were reports circulating
that a first-year man had been
questioned by agents of the
Federal Power Commission in
connection with a mass raid on
electric light users in Virginia
Beach. The student, yet to be
identified, reportedly sold two
"kilos" (short for kilowatts) to
a high school kid.

Asked if he felt that electric
light could be detrimental to
one's physical and mental processes,
Mr. Runk said, "The evidence
doesn't prove that it isn't."

When asked how he would
compare the effects of using
candles and reading by electric
light, he stated, "I think there
can be abuses of anything, even
food."

As the sun was slowly setting
on Pavilion VIII, Dean Runk
concluded the interview with the
advice that all University students
should be in bed by 8 p.m.
anyway and have no need to fool
around with illegal illumination.
"If candles were good enough
for Mr. Jefferson, they're good
enough for me!"

Light Bulbs Fill Garbage Behind Pavilion VIII

Confiscated Illuminators Spark Dark Age Policies