University of Virginia Library

Everything High And Dry

Officials Clean Up Bath Tub Mess

By Steve Johnson
Cavalier Daily Staff Writer

Photo By Frank Maner

Courtenay House Bath Tub Called Safety Hazard By Ralph Main

Housing Director Orders Ten Dollar Junkyard Relic Out Of Offender's Suite

According to Ralph Main, Director of
Housing, a bath tub in the dormitory area
is a safety hazard and for that reason is
not allowed as a legal possession under
the Terms and Conditions Policy of the
University. Some of the upperclass dorm
residents in Courtenay House seem to
disagree.

"We got the tub because we thought
our living conditions we were getting a
little stale and we really needed
something to fill one side of the suite," stated
Mike Finn, ringleader of this inspired plot.
"Not too many people have bath tubs, so we
decided that a tub in the suite was definitely in
order."

"We first looked in a local junk yard where
we found plenty of old sinks and old bottles
but we decided as a group to continue our
search for a bath tub," continued Mr. Finn.
"We were referred to the Charlottesville
Lumber Yard where we found the nicest tub
that any of us had ever seen and purchased said
item for ten dollars. It took five of us from the
suite and an Opel to get it here and now Mr.
Main has decided that it is an unsuitable piece
of furniture."

Mr. Finn and Bill Gordon, another member
of the conspiracy, explained that their act had
gone three days undetected before they heard
from the Housing Office that they had two
days to get it out. "We ignored the ultimatum
the first time," they said, "hoping it would
blow over, and the tub, which by this time had
become an integral part of our lives here at The
U., would be allowed to remain."

Three days later the Courtenay Bunch got
another warning that if the tub were not
removed within two days, it would be removed
by the Housing Office with a $20
transportation fee imposed on the occupants of
the suite.

"At that I went down to see Mr. Main to
discuss the situation," said Mr. Finn. "I was
told that the tub was an appliance and that for
that reason it had to be removed. After I had
convinced Mr. Main that it was not an appliance
because we had no way to plug it in, he decided
that even so, it was still a health hazard and had
to be removed on the basis that it was an
inappropriate piece of furniture. We've read the
Terms and Conditions since that time and have
found that students are allowed to have their
own furniture and nowhere does it specify that
it need be appropriate. We have also promised
not to use it as a cooler, but still they say it
must go."