| | 1 | Author: | Holmes
Oliver Wendell
1809-1894 | Requires cookie* | | | Title: | Elsie Venner  | | | | Published: | 2003 | | | | Subjects: | University of Virginia Library, Text collection | UVA-LIB-Text | University of Virginia Library, Early American Fiction, 1789-1875 | UVA-LIB-EarlyAmFict1789-1875 | | | | Description: | There is nothing in New England corresponding
at all to the feudal aristocracies of the Old
World. Whether it be owing to the stock from
which we were derived, or to the practical working
of our institutions, or to the abrogation of the
technical “law of honor,” which draws a sharp
line between the personally responsible class of
“gentlemen” and the unnamed multitude of
those who are not expected to risk their lives for
an abstraction, — whatever be the cause, we have
no such aristocracy here as that which grew up
out of the military systems of the Middle Ages. “The Committee have great pleasure in recording
their unanimous opinion, that the Institution
was never in so flourishing a condition.... You were kind enough to promise me that you
would assist me in any professional or scientific
investigations in which I might become engaged.
I have of late become deeply interested in a class
of subjects which present peculiar difficulty, and
I must exercise the privilege of questioning you
on some points upon which I desire information
I cannot otherwise obtain. I would not trouble
you, if I could find any person or books competent
to enlighten me on some of these singular
matters which have so excited me. The leading
doctor here is a shrewd, sensible man, but not
versed in the curiosities of medical literature. I do not wonder that you find no answer from
your country friends to the curious questions you
put. They belong to that middle region between
science and poetry which sensible men, as they
are called, are very shy of meddling with. Some
people think that truth and gold are always to be
washed for; but the wiser sort are of opinion,
that, unless there are so many grains to the peck
of sand or nonsense respectively, it does not pay
to wash for either, so long as one can find anything
else to do. I don't doubt there is some
truth in the phenomena of animal magnetism,
for instance; but when you ask me to cradle
for it, I tell you that the hysteric girls cheat so,
and the professionals are such a set of pickpockets,
that I can do something better than hunt for
the grains of truth among their tricks and lies.
Do you remember what I used to say in my
lectures? — or were you asleep just then, or cutting
your initials on the rail? (You see I can
ask questions, my young friend.) Leverage is
everything, — was what I used to say; — don't
begin to pry till you have got the long arm on
your side. I have been for some months established in
this place, turning the main crank of the machinery
for the manufactory of accomplishments
superintended by, or rather worked to the profit
of, a certain Mr. Silas Peckham. He is a poor
wretch, with a little thin fishy blood in his body,
lean and flat, long-armed and large-handed, thick-jointed
and thin-muscled, — you know those unwholesome,
weak-eyed, half-fed creatures, that
look not fit to be round among live folks, and
yet not quite dead enough to bury. If you ever
hear of my being in court to answer to a charge
of assault and battery, you may guess that I
have been giving him a thrashing to settle off old
scores; for he is a tyrant, and has come pretty
near killing his principal lady-assistant with overworking
her and keeping her out of all decent
privileges. | | | Similar Items: | Find |
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