| | 1 | Author: | Brackenridge
H. H.
(Hugh Henry)
1748-1816 | Add | | | Title: | Modern chivalry  | | | | Published: | 1997 | | | | Subjects: | University of Virginia Library, Text collection | UVA-LIB-Text | University of Virginia Library, Early American Fiction, 1789-1875 | UVA-LIB-EarlyAmFict1789-1875 | | | | Description: | JOHN FARRAGO, was a man of about
fifty-three years of age, of good natural
sense, and considerable reading; but in
some things whimsical, owing perhaps to
his greater knowledge of books than of the
world; but, in some degree, also, to his
having never married, being what they call
an old batchelor, a characteristic of which
is, usually, singularity and whim. He had
the advantage of having had in early life,
an academic education; but having never
applied himself to any of the learned professions,
he had lived the greater part of his
life on a small farm, which he cultivated
with servants or hired hands, as he could
conveniently supply himself with either.
The servant that he had at this time, was
an Irishman, whose name was Teague
Oregan. I shall say nothing of the character
of this man, because the very name imports
what he was. I have two objections to this duel
matter. The one is, lest I should hurt
you; and the other is, lest you should
hurt me. I do not see any good it would
do me to put a bullet through any part
of your body. I could make no use of
you when dead, for any culinary purpose,
as I would a rabbit or a turkey. I am
no cannibal to feed on the flesh of men.
Why then shoot down a human creature,
of which I could make no use. A buffalo
would be better meat. For though your
flesh might be delicate and tender; yet it
wants that firmness and consistency which
takes and retains salt. At any rate it would
not be fit for long sea voyages. You might
make a good barbecue, it is true, being of
the nature of a racoon or an opossum;
I
but people are not in the habit of barbecuing
any thing human now. As to your
hide, it is not worth the taking off, being
little better than that of a year old colt. “Know all men by these presents, that
I Teague O'Regan, Major, am held and
firmly bound unto John Hardicknute, in
the sum of one hundred pounds, money
of the United States, well and truly to be
paid to him the said John, his heirs, executors,
administators, or assigns. Given
under my hand and seal this second day of
June, in the year of our Lord one thousand
seven hundred and ninety-one. Would wish to have the pleasure of
Major O'Regan's company this evening at
tea. Lawyer Crabtree and Doctor Drug
will be here; and you know we shall split
our sides laughing at the ninnies. You're
so full of your jokes that I want you here.
Dear Major, don't be engaged; but come. You will instantly do one of two things,
either relinquish your attention to Miss
Muslin, and be no more in her company;
or meet me this evening precisely at six
o'clock, on the commons the back of the
Potter's-field, with a brace of pistols, and
a second, to take a shot. I shall have a
coffin ready, and a grave dug, for which
ever of us shall have occasion to make use
of it. | | | Similar Items: | Find |
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