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1Author:  McHenry James 1753-1816Requires cookie*
 Title:  Meredith, or, The mystery of the Meschianza  
 Published:  1997 
 Subjects:  University of Virginia Library, Text collection | UVA-LIB-Text | University of Virginia Library, Early American Fiction, 1789-1875 | UVA-LIB-EarlyAmFict1789-1875 
 Description: I know not whether any philosopher has ever made the observation, that, the heart which is the most susceptible of gratitude, is also the most readily excited to revenge. But it is a truth which, for its confirmation, requires not the testimony of philosophers. It has human nature for its foundation, and experience for its support. Indeed it is reasonable to suppose that he who is very sensible of kindness will be equally so of injuries. Both feelings spring from the same source, acuteness of sensation. Hence the frequent saying in relation to a man of sensibility, that he is either a very warm friend, or a very bitter enemy. There are indeed exceptions. But to what rule is there not? There may be, nay, there actually are, kind and amiable people whose sensibilities are altogether on the side of good nature. But these are generally tame and inefficient beings, who are either devoid of sagacity to see when they are injured, or destitute of courage to show resentment. “I can live no longer. My life has been for some months but one continued paroxysm of mental agony. My existence much longer would bring upon you the most indelible and unmitigable disgrace that could, by a daughter, be inflicted on a father. My last interview with Harris proved fatal to my honour. He ruined me, and then abandoned me for ever.—That interview! alas, it was a stolen one, unknown to you, and granted at his entreaty contrary to your injunctions. Oh! how I have been punished for my disobedience! No one has as yet perceived the effects of my guilt in the alteration of my person. But in a short time it would become too apparent for concealment. Then, then, my father, you would be disgraced for ever; and were I to live, I would see you dying broken-hearted— and I the cause! But I will not live to witness such a calamity. In opium there is power to destroy life, by lulling the senses into lethargy and dissolving the springs of animation. I have provided myself with the precious drug which is to relieve me for ever from that load of earthly misery which has become too great for me longer to endure. Farewell, my beloved father. Oh! do not curse me when I shall be dead, for my last prayer to Heaven shall ascend for thee.” “You were once the object of my fond attachment. I addressed you sincerely Q with a view to our final alliance, and we became engaged. Circumstances have lately given another direction to my views. It is, therefore, my duty to release you from your engagement. I do this the more readily and promptly, because I am aware that my cousin, Captain Harris, of the British army, has placed his affections upon you, and I am desirous of being no longer considered an obstacle to the success of his suit.
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