| | 1 | Author: | Locke
David Ross
1833-1888 | Add | | | Title: | Ekkoes from Kentucky  | | | | Published: | 2003 | | | | Subjects: | University of Virginia Library, Text collection | UVA-LIB-Text | University of Virginia Library, Early American Fiction, 1789-1875 | UVA-LIB-EarlyAmFict1789-1875 | | | | Description: | I NEVER wuz so elevated, nor never so cast
down, in my life, ez last nite, and the entire
Corners wuz ditto. The circumstances uv the case
wuz ez follows: Me and a party uv friends wuz a
playin draw poker with a Noo York commershel
travler, I believe they call em, a feller with a mustash
and side whiskers, wich comes South a talkin
secesh and a sellin goods. He made some inquiries
about the standin uv the deelers at the Corners, and
wuz, arter sed inquiries, eggstreemly anxious to sell
em goods, for cash. They wanted em on ninety
days' time, and on this they split. He agreed with
em in principle — he drank to Jeff Davis, and
damned Linkin flooently — but on the cash question
he wuz inflexible and unmovable. To while away
the rosy hours, a knot of choice sperits, him inclooded,
gathered in the Post Orifis, to enjoy a game
uv draw poker. There wuz me and Square Gavitt,
and Deekin Pogram, and Elder Slathers, and the
Noo York drummer. We played till past the
witchin hour of 12 M., when graveyards yawn and
gosts troop forth — when the Noo Yorker suckumd.
His innocent, unseasoned bowels hedn't bin eddicated
up to the standard uv Kentucky whiskey,
wich, new ez we drink it, is pizen to foreigners.
The Deekin and Elder grabbed the stakes wich wuz
onto the table, and rifled his pockets on the suspishen
that he wuz a Ablishinist, and rolled him
out, and while in the very act, Pollock, the Illinoy
storekeeper, cum rushin in, askin us ef we'd heerd
the news. “My dear Sir: My confirmashen by the Senit
uv the Yoonited States to the posishen uv Postmaster
at the Confederit × Roads, wich is in the State
uv Kentucky, being somewhat jeopardized by my
operashuns in the politikle field doorin the past two
years, I hev the honor to explane that, notwithstandin
the fact that I wuz a original Demokrat,
early in the war I took up arms for the preservashen
uv our beloved Yoonion. The precise date I cannot
give, owin to the demoralized condishen uv my mind
at the time; but that yoo kan assertane for yoorselves.
It wuz about two weeks after the fust draft.
That I laid down arms agin ez soon ez the regiment
struck Southern sile will not, when the motives wich
actooated me are known, be allowed to weigh agin
me. It hez bin said I deserted to the enemy, — so
it wuz sed uv John Champe, but history subsekently
vindicated him; he went to ketch Arnold. I will
not stop to reply to my defamers; but ef it comes
out finally that I went for the purpose uv satisfyin
rebels by okular demonstrashun that they hed nothin
to hope for from the Northern Democrats, uv whom
I wuz a average specimen, what kin my enemies
say then? “Hev determined to be President or nothin. Shel
remove Stanton, and immejitly thereafter Sheridan,
and ultimately the ballence uv em. Go on to Noo
Orleens, and make this known to our frends. Draw
on the general fund for expenses. “To the President: Notwithstandin the slite
difference uv opinion that may egzist between us on
certin minor questions uv public policy, and despite
the unguarded expressions I may hev indulged in in
the heet uv debate, I kin trooly say that I hev ever
cherished the most endoorin faith in the rectitood
uv yoor intenshuns, the honesty uv yoor purpose,
and the purity uv yoor motives. I hev a nephew
in my State who desires the posishen uv Assessor
uv Internal Revenoo. He is capable and honest;
and while he hez alluz voted the Republican ticket,
he hez dun it so mildly ez not to be objeckshenable to
those who differ with him. Indeed, last fall he wuz
accoosed, and perhaps justly, uv votin for a candidate
for Congress who wuz a supporter uv yoor
policy, wich, tho I do not in all respecks accept,
hez, I must acknowledge, many pints in it to recommend
it to a discriminatin people. I shood
esteem his nominashen a persnal favor. “To the President: I am, ez yoo are aware,
known ez a Radical; but between generous foes
there kin be none of that terrible spirit uv blind
hate which characterizes some uv my associates,
who shel be here nameless. I will say, however,
that if the Senators from Massachoosets, and some
others I cood menshun, wood resine or die, they
wood confer a favor upon the country. I oppose
you becoz I differ with yoo, ez does my State; but
that opposishen hez never lessened my high admirashen
uv your patriotism, yoor even temper, or the
many good qualities uv your head and heart, wich
shine out so conspickuous. I hale you ez a worthy
successor uv the first A. J. I hed not intended to
mix things persnel to myself in this friendly triboot,
but will do violence to my feelins by observin that
the posishun uv Collector at — is admirably
adapted to a cousin uv mine, whose talence ez a
lawyer hez never bin appreciated by those who
know him best. He agrees with me that impeachment
is not to be thot uv, and that sessions uv Congress,
other than reglar ones, is uselis. Shood yoo
be pleased to make the appintment, I shel be proud
to return the favor in any way possible. Ef it
woodent be askin too much, a son uv mine wood
be glad to serve his country ez a Inspector uv
Revenoo. Inheritin from me devoshun to our common
country, he burns to devote himself to her
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