| | 1 | Author: | Locke
David Ross
1833-1888 | Requires cookie* | | | Title: | The struggles (social, financial and political) of
Petroleum V. Nasby  | | | | Published: | 2003 | | | | Subjects: | University of Virginia Library, Text collection | UVA-LIB-Text | University of Virginia Library, Early American Fiction, 1789-1875 | UVA-LIB-EarlyAmFict1789-1875 | | | | Description: | Enclosed find photograff uv myself, ez you desired. To
make a strikin picter, I flung myself into the attitood, and
assoomed the expreshun wich mite hev bin observed onto
my classikle countenance when in the act uv deliverin my
justly celebrated sermon, “The wages uv Sin is Death.” The
$2.00 wich yoo remitted to kiver the cost uv the picter wuz, I
regret to say, insuffishent. The picter cost 75 cents, and it
took $1.50 worth uv Bascom's newest whisky to stiddy my
nerves to the pint uv undergoin the agony uv sittin three
minits in front uv the photograffer. I need not say that he
is a incendiary from Massachoosets. Ez the deceased Elder
Gavitt's son, Issaker, hez expressed a burnin desire to possess
his apparatus, it is probable that public safety will very shortly
require his expulsion. But I hed my revenge — in his pocket
is none uv my postal currency. Sekoorin the picter, I told
him I wood take it home, and ef my intimit friends, those who
knowd me, shood decide it wuz a portrait, I wood call and pay
for it afore he left the Corners. Will I do it? Will this
picter-takin Ablishnist ever more behold me? Ekko ansers.
“To drinks doorin the month uv Janooary at 10 cents per drink,
$30 00.”
“My dear Sir: My confirmashen by the Senit uv the
Yoonited States to the posishen uv Postmaster at the Confederit
× Roads, wich is in the State uv Kentucky, bein somewhat
jeopardized by my operashuns in the politikle field doorin
the past two years, I hev the honor to explain that, notwithstandin
the fact that I wuz a original Demokrat, early in the
war I took up arms for the preservashen uv our beloved
Yoonion. The precise date I cannot give, owin to the demoralized
condishen uv my mind at the time; but that yoo
can assertane for yoorselves. It wuz about two weeks after
the fust draft. That I laid down arms agin ez soon ez the
regiment struck Southern sile will not, when the motives wich
actooated me are known, be allowed to weigh agin me. It hez
bin sed I deserted to the enemy, — so it wuz sed uv John
Champe, but history subsekently vindicated him; he went to
ketch Arnold. I will not stop to reply to my defamers; but
ef it comes out finally that I went for the purpose uv satisfyin
rebels by okular demonstrashun that they hed nothin to hope
for from the Northern Democrats, uv whom I am a average
specimen, what kin my enemies say then? “It's trooly a splendid country! The trade in the skins uv
white bears kin be, if properly developed, made enormous.
There is seals there, and walruses so tame that they come up
uv their own akkord to be ketched. “The climate is about the style uv that they hev in Washinton.
The Gulf Stream sweeps up the coast, causing a decided
twist in the isothermal line, wich hez the effeck uv making it
ruther sultry than otherwise. Anywheres for six hundred
miles back uv the coast strawberries grow in the open air. I
recommend strongly the purchis. “To the President: Notwithstandin the slite difference uv
opinion that may egzist between us on certin minor questions
uv public policy, and despite the unguarded expressions I may
hev indulged in in the heet uv debate, I kin trooly say that I
hev ever cherished the most endoorin faith in the rectitood uv
yoor intenshuns, the honesty uv yoor purpose, and the purity
uv yoor motives. I hev a nephew in my State who desires
the posishen uv Assessor uv Internal Revenoo. He is capable
and honest; and while he hez alluz voted the Republican
ticket, he hez dun it so mildly ez not to be objeckshenable to
those who differ with him. Indeed, last fall he wuz accoosed,
and perhaps justly, uv votin for a candidate for Congress who
wuz a supporter uv yoor policy, wich, tho I do not in all
respecks accept, hez, I must acknowledge, many pints in it to
recommend it to a discriminatin people. I shood esteem his
nominashen a persnal favor. “To the President: I am, ez yoo are aware, known ez a
Radical; but between generous foes there kin be none of that
terrible spirit uv blind hate which characterizes some uv my
associates, who shel be here nameless. I will say, however,
that ef the Senators from Massachoosets, and some others I
cood menshun, wood resine or die, they wood confer a favor
upon the country. I oppose you becoz I differ with yoo, ez
does my State; but that opposishen hez never lessened my
high admirashen uv your patriotism, yoor even temper, or the
many good qualities uv your head and heart, wich shine out so
conspickuous. I hale you ez a worthy successor uv the first
A. J. I hed not intended to mix things persnel to myself in
this friendly triboot, but will do violence to my feelins by
observin that the posishun uv Collector at — is admirably
adapted to a cousin uv mine, whose talence ez a lawyer hez
never bin appreciated by those who know him best. He
agrees with me that impeachment is not to be thot uv, and
that sessions uv Congress, other than reglar ones, is uselis.
Shood yoo be pleased to make the appintment, I shel be proud
to return the favor in any way possible. Ef it woodent be
askin too much, a son uv mine wood be glad to serve his
country ez a Inspector uv Revenoo. Inheritin from me devoshun
to our common country, he burns to devote himself to
her service. *
* The Democracy treated Johnson with contemptuous coolness in his last days.
His failure to divide the Republican party made him of no use to them.
“I hev, ez yoo know, the highest possible regard for yoor
Eggslency, and shel regret exceedingly to see yoo deprived uv
yoor high offis; but, reely you kin scarcely eggspect the
Dimocracy to embarrass themselves by espousin yoor coz.
The fact is, no party hevin a fucher before it kin tie itself to a
ded past. The teemster draws a sigh over a ded mule, but ez
a ded mule can't draw his cart, he naturally turns his eyes onto
them still possest uv vitality. I hope yoo see the pint without
my explainin it. Excuse me for comparin yoo to a ded mule,
but the simile wuz the first that segested itself to me. “Wood a regiment uv Irish raised in this place be uv any
servis? Anser! “Since the disgraceful exhibishen yoor friends made uv
theirselves at the Philadelphia Convenshen, I didn't consider
myself bound to yoo. I, ez yoo know, never took any stock in
half-and-half mixters. My defeet by Thurman hezn't increased
my love for yoo and yoors. I hev no objecshen to yoor holdin
yoor seet to the end uv yoor term, but reely it's a matter uv
but little consekence to me. Shood you pass thro Dayton on
yoor way to Tennessee, I shood be glad to extend the hospitalities
uv my humble house to yoo.” “I feel for yoo; that is, I feel for yoo on general principles.
(Thad Stevens, permit me to say, in parenthesis, hez been
feelin for yoo, and hez at last, I am satisfied, found yoo.) I feel
for yoo ez I do for every man who hez a offis and is obliged to
leeve it. Nevertheless, I can't help you. I wood, but yoo see
we hev all we kin do to help ourselves. Uv course yoo don't
expect the Dimocracy to take any part in the struggle between
yoo and Congriss. Elected ez a Republikin, with Republikins
in yoor Cabinet, the Dimocrisy, while they applaud wat yoo
hev done, can't uv course make yoor quarrel theirs. When yoo
leave Washington for Tennessee can't yoo take Concord in yoor
way? I hev no objecshen to minglin teers with yoo.” “Sir: I return the appintment yoo gave me last month
with loathin and skorn. I survived the Noo Orleans and
Memphis massacres, yoor opposition to the will of Congris,
and all the other damnin inquities uv yoor most damnable
administration, but this last attempt to hist Stanton I can't
endorse. Therefore I bolt. Your successor will, I hope, do
me justis, and likewise the Senit.” “Defy Congriss, and let em impeech yoo. Dare em to do
their dirty d—dest. Ef they shood hist yoo, all the better.
It will be an immense help toward the election uv McClellan.
Think how much yoo kin do for the coz in this way, and stand
firm. Visit Hartford on yoor way to Tennessee.” “Be firm — be firm. The impeachment uv yoorself will
raise sich a storm uv indignashun in the North, and sich sympathy
for Southern Dimokrats, ez to make the nominashun uv
even sich men ez Breckinridge certin. Yoo are, now, uv vast
yoose to the coz! I will meet yoo at Looisville, and accompany
yoo to Tennessee.” The Dimocrisy uv Noo Hampsheer send greetin to Noo
Hampsheer's noblest son, Salmon P. Chase. We forgive and
welcum him. The city is ablaze with enthoosiasm. My old poleece is
now paradin the streets, a cheerin for Chase. Ez I write they
are givin nine cheers and a tiger ez they pass the spot at wich
Dostie wuz shot. Judge Abell desires me to add his congratulashuns. The circle wich hez a interest in the handlin uv ardent
sperits at this place, congratulates the President on his triumph
over his (and our) enemies. Ther confidence in the integrity
uv the Senit wuz not misplaced. They consider the money
they contributed to bring about this result well spent, and will
promptly honor any draft made upon em for means to carry
His Eggslency safe thro the remainin ten articles. Halleloojy! I'll hev my niggers agin! Thank Hevin! My
son Josier is even now findin out ther whereabouts. The
Lord be praised! Hev already subjoogated three uv em.
Selah! Bells is ringin and bonfires is blazin. The Corners congratulates yoo and the President. I commence
work to-morrer on the enlargement uv my distillery,
wich wuz suspended when the impeachment onpleasantnis wuz
begun. All hale! My dear, dear Friend: Absence, it is sed, conkers love,
but that won't work in your case. I had tried to forget yoo,
and hed well nigh succeeded, but in overhaulin some papers
yesterday, I happened to come across some uv yoor notes of
hand for small amounts borrowed uv me at different times, and
I realized to-wunst the force of the old line, —
“Tho lost to site, to memry dear,”
and I bust out into a flood uv tears. | | | Similar Items: | Find |
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