| | 1 | Author: | Armentrout, Amanda C. | Add | | | Title: | Amanda C. Armentrout to William F. Brand, July 29, 1866  | | | | Published: | 2002 | | | | Subjects: | University of Virginia Civil War Collection | UVA-LIB-BrandLetterscivilwar | | | | Description: | This is a beautiful Sabbeth morn & all nature
seems to be sending up its praises to the great & good God yes I say
good (good when he gives supremely good
nor less when he dinies) & it is Him who
deserves the prais for he does all things well. Willie
I was not well this morning nor have not been for a week & could not go
to church so I thought I would respond to your dear messive that I Recd last Thursday Oh you
know not how I felt when I got it I feared to open it my hand trembled when I
grasped it & saw it was from you; but you will say what caused the fear
now do not centure me for my weakness, I feared it
would be cold & indiferent &
perhaps bid me neve to right
again but when I saw dear Kate it cheared me up yes I
filt strong again & thought perhaps ther were some hope & now I am replying with you
last request (write soon) yes I will try &
comply with evry request that you make though I have
been denied of evry one I have made. I will try
& return good for evel, I am resigned to my
fate. but I must hasten to respond to
your dear sweet letter. you say mine caused your sensitive nature to mourn over
the past my dear friend I am sorry that I caused you to morn over the past for it is wicked for me to mourn over it let alone
being the cause of another one to be sad forgive me for making you thus. God in
his goodness has some wise devise for doing this so I
am willing to bare though the chastning rod has been sever it has
brought me nearer him & maid a better girl of me & I hope ere long dear brother that you
will exclame God is good & does all things
well. Willie you wish a relies you have loved me I do
not doubt that but your affections have changed & you soon wish to be
free again & can I hold thy pure & noble heart bind it to me
that is so impure as mine for I have been the cause of you being unhappy
& I know not but what I am the cause of you loosing your religion though I hope not so Willie I am not worthy of
you. I love you & can not help it but Willie I will never harm you love
works no ill to any one I never expect to love another nor do not wish to no
could I trust another could I ask my dear Father to chang that which I asked him to do but with in my bosom no never, but can I claim you when you are chainged; Oh my Heavenly Father forbid no no Willie I care not what
may be my fate I can not hold thee to me if you do not wish it nor can I spurn
you no Willie I blame myself in part for it yes the letter that I wrote last
winter just after Christmas I blame for it yes dear Willie I will take half of
the blame or all of it if it will make you happy for I have bore the blame
& centure of the people for it &
swore then it yes Willie I have bore the burden in the heat of the day I caused
& cast it all uppon thee now but will bare half of it with you. I will tell you some things that
has (come) been said to me Kate you look sad you kicked Billie thinking you
could do better & I dont pitty you one bit what
could I say I dened the charge but it is generly believed that I did kick you yes I am blamed
with your drinking which I neve did believe you did
though you thought I did no Willie I could not believe it I would see you laying
dead drunk in the mud I would (not) think it was not you there oh you said the
next to the last time you were down her if I ever kicked
you that you would get to drinking but Willie here is the hardest thing I had to
endure that I had kicked you & you got to drinking on the account of it
& that now I had lost my mind on the account of it Oh Willie is it not a
wonder that I have not lost my mind
as be blaimed with so much that I hope I am inosent of & yet I bilieve it is all for my own good "all work together for good to those
that love God yes dear Willie God in all his ways is just & merciful
& if we rely trust him though we pass through
fire it will not harm us. | | | Similar Items: | Find |
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