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expand2002 (1)
1Author:  Brand, William F.Add
 Title:  William F. Brand to Amanda C. Armentrout, January 9, 1866  
 Published:  2002 
 Subjects:  University of Virginia Civil War Collection | UVA-LIB-ValleyOfTheShadow 
 Description: I recieved your letter yesterday. after reading & rereading it my feelings ware tinged with a degree of sadness now I have taken your letter before me, for the purpose of trying to answer its details something I never tried before & believe it imposible now. While I gaze on you epistle my mind wanders & I cannot senter it on no one subject. Now believe me I am going to try to write what my heart shall dictate. You are well aware I once loved you devotedly yes passionately up to the time of our first enstrangement Since then I have never have seaced to love you. But I cannot confine it to the burning love I once enjoyed. Can I help it that I changed, I withdrew my affections at a time when I thought all was lost that was dear to me. Oftimes since then I have tried to be the same loving Willie I once was, but it seems that I have failed Now dont belive that you are forgotten for no other woman has ever tuched a tender cord within my breast. You are in my mind from morning till eve, yes my only desire to live is to perpetuate your hapiness, give your hand to annother & I will leave this country wich will be a proof of my feelings for you I am so carless my bright visions of the future may soon fade your mind must have been pushed to an unusual degree of temperment when you wrote I dont belive I could commit to memory all the charges you prefered, I will not attempt to excuse my self of any for very probaly I am gilty of all I spent a Mery Christmas & a plesent New Year, Evry girl that fell to my lot to entertain was flatered to a limited extent So you may term me a cold carless flaterer & of the world worldly my early landmarks have all nearly been erased, what do I live for. My heart says thee while my actions do not prove it you may doubt this writing put it is the truth What more shall I say shall I fill this page with loving ephithets or with the sad realities of my changed nature. You once knew me as a devout flolower of our meek & generous Savoir. But alas for a long time I had only a name to live while dead. This may be the sadest letter you ever recieved from me I never intend to hide any of my faults from you. I know not what kind of a reply this may bring be what it may I hope it may have its desired effect. Alas you will say Willie will soon be a ruined youth it may be so, but I hope to the contrary I am certain the intoxicating cup shall never drag me down in its ruinous path of misery. Since I left Augusta The grate I am has called for some of her fairest duels. It seems that the fairest flowers are always smitten first. I recieved a letter some time ago from my darling sister oh how I long for her emprace. Brother C was up to see me last night got here late yesterday eavning & started early this morn. He is looking quite well, dont seem to take it very hard about loosing Bette, mans hard heart is hard to brake Dear Kate I pick up your letter and look at it. Then say I cannot answer it, do not know how to commence so I will wait hoping I may soon see you, when I can answer it more satisfactorily than by writing I expect to make my apperance in old Aug Sadurday week will call on you unless sooner prohibited Do not let this uninteligible letter give you any truble. If your hand is given to another before I get down I hope you will let me have the plasure of thaking it once more Bro C told me that J.V. & J.H. was at a party at your house some time ago very good joke on them
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